Fragility, faith and choosing to trust

A little story. Yesterday I sat next to the MRI machine as Victoria had her 25th brain scan. The pattern of the beeps of the machine become strangely familiar after a few years, so yesterday when there was a pause in the process and then the machine did something recognisably different I felt my body tense. What's going on? Why is it different today? On the outside I sat calmly, but on the inside fear was trying to take hold.

Some self-talk, "No. All is good. You've got this God."

Breathing. Keep breathing.

I've had this experience before, about 7 years ago when it was me in the CT machine. They stopped the scan to review the images with a doctor before continuing to take another set of images. There was a concern. But praise God as they continued down the path with surgery, the concern dissipated.

Breathing. Keep breathing.

And then there was Victoria's initial scan 7.5 years ago, when I was oblivious to these nuances but I knew something wasn't right.

Some more self-talk, "It's gonna be okay. My God's got this."

The nurse enters the room. She explains that the doctor had ordered a different scan today.

My mind starts racing, why? He didn't say anything about that six months ago.

Breathing. Keep breathing.

The nurse continues explaining that now they are doing a different type of scan for children. She is looking intently into my eyes to re-assure me. Victoria is oblivious, watching the movie via the mirrors.

Okay, I choose to trust the nurse's words. I choose to trust that my God has got this. It's gonna be okay.

Some more new things happen during the scan, and then it is finished. We leave. We'll return on Thursday to get the results.

This is a little story of fragility, faith and the choice to trust. Fragility from the pain of past experiences. Faith to believe that there is a God in heaven who is bigger than our circumstances. And making the choice to trust Him in the waiting.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

Today, if there is something in your life that is playing on your fragility, then lets remember who we are - children of God, with full access to the throne room of God ....

So now we come freely and boldly to where love is enthroned, to receive mercy's kiss and discover the grace we urgently need to strengthen us in our time of weakness. Hebrews 4:16 TPT

Let's go freely and boldly to Jesus today.

 

 

 

  

Pain

Pain. What do we do with it? We can let it fester and the result is not pretty. We do and say things that we regret, resulting in the need to say sorry and be forgiven. That was me last week!

Pain. We can let it isolate us. It's too hard to connect because it takes emotional energy, and all our energy is being consumed by our pain. So we don't bother trying. That was me six years ago!

Pain. We can acknowledge it. Be real and say yes I am in pain. I am not okay. I need help. God help me. That was me on Monday!

 

Pain. We can release it - the right way - to Jesus. For me, times of worship are always a beautiful time of releasing pain, whether at church, at my desk, in my kitchen or in my car. Find me at the feet of Jesus, by Christy Nockels, always takes me to that place of surrender and release. That was me this morning!

Pain. It can be used for good, Romans 8:28 tells us,

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to whose who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 NKJV

In the dark times I found it very hard to believe this truth and often wrestled with it. However eventually, in faith it brought hope to my soul, along with Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 NKJV

Pain. Something God uses (but doesn't give) to draw people to Himself, both directly and indirectly through the testimony of others. If we process our pain well with Jesus, and other support, we will, because of a growing understanding of God's grace and mercy, draw closer to Him, and become those 'others' who testify to Romans 8:28.

Pain. Helps us to know that we know, that we know, God is for us. 

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 NKJV

Another one of my favourite songs is You are for me, written by Kari Jobe. Again it helps take me to that place of knowing that I am loved and there is a God in heaven looking after me. Here are some of the lyrics

So faithful, so constant, so loving and so true
So powerful in all you do
You fill me, you see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
And I know that you have come now even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

When we know that God is for us, we can continue on with hope while we are experiencing pain. We know in faith that we will see victory in Jesus Name.

Yet even in the midst of all these things, we triumph over them all, for God has made us to be more than conquerors, and his demonstrated love is our glorious victory over everything! 

So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God's love. I'm convinced that this love will triumph over death, life's troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us - no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God's passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One! 

Romans 8:37-39 The Passion Translation

Let's pray, 

Jesus, help me today to acknowledge my pain. Please forgive me for the hurt I have caused through my pain. Help me to sit with you and process my pain well. Please bring people to walk with me and guide me in this process. Thank you that you are for me and nothing can separate me from your love. Thank you that I am more than a conqueror because of you. Please help me to get to the place when I can testify to your goodness, grace and mercy. In your Name I pray, Amen.

 

Podcast 17 - Sticky notes and the God of mercy & Grace

Sticky notes and the God of mercy & grace

So then, we must cling in faith to all we know to be true. For we have a magnificent King-Priest, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who rose into the heavenly realm for us, and now sympathises with us in our frailty. He understands humanity, for as a Man, our magnificent King-Priest was tempted in every way just as we are, and conquered sin. So now we come freely and boldly to where love is enthroned, to receive mercy's kiss and discover the grace we urgently need to strengthen us in our time of weakness. Hebrews 4:14-16 TPT

I have some sticky notes on the edge of my PC monitor and desk. On each sticky note there are names. Each name has a need. Some are clinging in faith to Jesus. He understands.

This morning another name was added, and a hearts cry went up to God, our Heavenly Father. He understands. 

God, we need you. These people, these things going on in their lives, they need your miracle working presence.

A song comes, Lord of All by Hillsong .... the chorus

Lord of all
All of creation
Sings Your praise
In Heaven and earth
Lord we stand
Hearts open wide
Be exalted
  

He is Lord of all. Psalm 100 reminds us of this truth.

Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands!

Serve the LORD with gladness;

Come before His presence with singing.

Know that the LORD, He is God;

It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;

We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Psalm 100:1-3 NKJV

Come before His presence - what a powerful place to be - His presence - the place to be. The place where hearts are transformed. How do we get there? We start by being still.

Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God. I am the God above all the nations, and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth.  Psalm 46:10 TPT

We acknowledge Who He is and what He does for us.

Here he stands!

The Commander!

The mighty Lord of Angel Armies is on our side!

The God of Jacob fights for us!

Psalm 46:11 TPT

The God of Jacob is fighting for every name on those sticky notes. He made each one. He is on their side.

We choose to trust, because if we don't, we get lost and we lose.

Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on  your own opinions. With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make. Proverbs 3:5 TPT

We choose to give thanks, sometimes in faith.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,

And into His courts with praise.

Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

For the LORD is good; 

His mercy is everlasting,

And His truth endures to all generations.

Psalm 100:4-5 NKJV

There may be tears during this process of surrender, as your heart connects with the heart of your Heavenly Father. But these tears are good because there is an exchange taking place. Our desire for control, our feelings of hopelessness are being exchanged for the truth that He is Lord of all, He is trustworthy and He is on our side.  We need that growing level of intimacy with our God.

Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go. Don't think for a moment that you know it all, for wisdom comes when you adore him with undivided devotion and avoid everything that's wrong. Then you will find the healing refreshment your body and spirit long for. Proverbs 3:6-8 TPT

And with that intimacy helping to build our confidence and trust in Who Jesus is, we can ...

therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 NKJV

Let's do that today. Stop. Surrender. Exchange. Go Boldly and receive mercy and grace, in the name of Jesus.

Podcast 16 - Don't schedule out God's purposes

Don't schedule out God's purposes

In my early years of 'mummying' four children I tried to schedule things to make the weeks as easy as possible for myself. 

For example, with physical activity and sport, one strategy I employed was to encourage them all to do swimming, it was in one location, not weather dependent, cheapish, both boys and girls can participate in it, and of course, it is good for their fitness. And one of the biggest benefits for me, the mum was that it was easy to fit into our weekly schedule. 

But it soon became evident that not all four children had a passion for swimming. It turns out that they had their own ideas about what they wanted to do for physical exercise! Yes, it seems they have their own thoughts and desires. They are four individual humans, that are not always going to fit into the nice orderly picture I had in my mind.

God reminded me of their uniqueness this morning as I was praying for them. I paused and read back over the prayers I'd journalled for each child, where I had thanked God for what He is doing in their lives and asked Him to help them in specific areas. 

As I re-read the prayers I realised that they were very different for each child. Of course their differing ages had something to do with this, but it was more than that. It was as if God was showing me that they were unique because He created them that way. We read that truth in Psalm 139.

You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother's womb. Psalm 139:13 TPT

God knows them inside and out.

I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me Lord! Psalm 139:14 TPT
 

Mysteriously complex. Children sometimes certainly are that to us, the parents. However our children are thoroughly known by the Lord. He has their number of days planned.

You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I'd ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book. Psalm 139:16 TPT 

God has a unique plan for each of them. 

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Jeremiah 29:11 AMP

The final outcome, always drawing us to Himself, that is where our Heavenly Father's focus is. He is interested in the heart. 

Beloved, we are God's children right now; however it is not yet apparent what we will become. But we do know that when it is finally made visible, we will be just like him, for we will see him as he truly is. And all who focus their hope on him will always be purifying themselves, just as Jesus is pure. 1 John 3:2-3 TPT

Not like me in those early parenting years, where my focus was more on trying to make my workload as easy as possible - arranging for them to all do the same things because it suited my schedule! Thankfully God's grace is sufficient for my selfishness.

God doesn't want our children's unique gifts and talents squashed because it doesn't fit with our thoughts, plans and schedules. No, He wants them understand their uniqueness, and to embrace and love it, because He has created them that way for His purposes. We as parents have the privilege of helping our children on this journey of discovery. 

Of course all that I've written here this morning about  uniqueness and purpose, applies not only to our children, but also to us. We are created by God, valued by Him and loved by Him. We are set apart, with a heavenly calling.

And so, dear brothers and sisters, you are now made holy, and each of you is invited to the feast of your heavenly calling. So fasten your thoughts fully unto Jesus, whom we embrace as our Apostle and King-priest. Hebrews 3:1 TPT

So today, let's not let our schedules get in the way of what God wants to do in and through us and those we love. Let's pray that God will help us today to fasten our thoughts fully unto Jesus, and giving ourselves and others space and permission to be all that God has called us to be.

Podcast 15 - New day dawning