Podcast 30 - What's missing in your life?

What's missing in your life?

A few years ago one of our children came to me while I was working at my desk and gave me this photo, complete with a handmade frame.  This was more than a gift, it was a not-so-subtle request saying, 'Mum, I need more hugs and love from you.'

I had to stop and think about what was really going on here. What had I missed? What was I not seeing? Why wasn't I seeing it? What did I need to do next? Some soul-searching went on. 

I changed some of my actions, but obviously not enough, because here is what I received from that child for Christmas that year ....

So at least one thing is very clear, I am falling short when it comes to fulfilling the love language of this child! Yes, even now, a few years on there are times when this child, who has since worked out how to verbalise what they need from me, is sometimes lacking in love and attention from their mum.

But as much as I try to fulfill that need I know that I will never do it perfectly. I believe my best approach is to love them the best way that I can, and teach them about Jesus' love for them - that He is the only one that can love them perfectly. Mummy can't.

I know that has certainly been my experience with Jesus. I love my parents and they have done their best to love me, but they aren't perfect. And neither have I been the perfect loving daughter. I love my husband and he does his best to love me, but he isn't perfect. And likewise the love that I have offered him has not been perfect either.  

But Jesus' love is different. Here is what He says in John 15:9, from The Passion Translation....

'I love you with the same love that the Father loves me. You must continually let my love nourish your hearts.'

A love that God wants to lavish on us.

"Look with wonder at the depth of the Father's marvelous love that he has lavished on us! He has called us and made us his very own beloved children." 1 John 3:1 TPT

A love that understands pain.

For this is how much God loved the world - he gave his one and only, unique Son as a gift. So now everyone who believes in him will never perish but experience everlasting life.  John 3:16 TPT

A love that hears the cry of the broken, and brings healing and restoration, not always as and when we expect, but in His way and His time.

Today, let's surrender and receive His love, knowing that it is perfect for every moment of our lives - today, tomorrow and forever more.

Psalm 23 ...

The Lord is my best friend and my shepherd.
I will always have more than enough.
He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love.
His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss.
That's where he restores and revives my life.
He opens before me pathways to God's pleasure
and leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness
so that I can bring honor to his name.
Lord, even when your path takes me through
the valley of deepest darkness,
fear will never conquer me, for you already have!
You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.
Your authority is my strength and my peace.
The comfort of your love takes away my fear.
I'll never be lonely, for you are near.
You become my delicious feast
even when my enemies dare to fight.
You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit;
you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows.
So why would I fear the future?
For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life.
Then afterward, when my life is through,
I'll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you!
Psalm 23
The Passion Translation

Podcast 29 - Don't miss the moment - God might have something He wants you to do

Don't miss the moment - God might have something He wants you to do

Last night I was really looking forward to going to bed, possibly because I'd had a patchy nights' sleep the night before. Anyway, two children were in bed (not asleep), one was doing homework with Ken and the other was chilling out. 

Bed was looking like a good option for me, until I felt the Holy Spirit say, 'Go to your desk and finish the work you started today.' That work was probably going to involve at least an hour and a half of 'non-creative tasks, going through the motions, ticking all the boxes type' of work. I wasn't overly enthused. But I obeyed, thinking 'Yes Holy Spirit, you are right, if I complete this now it will ease the load tomorrow.'

I opened up the programs I needed, found the paperwork required and turned on my worship music and started on the work. It wasn't long before it became very evident that I was not at my desk to work (even though somehow the work was completed - thank you Holy Spirit), I was there to worship. Overcome by His Presence, there were tears and deep cries, interceding for those He put on my heart. I will probably never know what happened in the spiritual realm at that time. But I do know this, had I ignored the prompting of the Holy Spirit and gone to bed, God would probably have had to find someone else who was willing to be obedient.

The point of this little story?

We don't always know what God's plan is. We don't always know what He is wanting to bring out of a situation - for us or others. 

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,' says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9 NKJV

What's important is that we listen, recognise His voice and obey. Sometimes one, two or three of these three actions are not easy to do.

Listen - we have to have space in our thoughts. We need to stop our own dialogue or the noise around us so we can hear that still small voice.

Recognise - we know who is speaking. We know something of God's character and His love for us, so we know what He would be saying to us.

Obey - we choose to do what He asks - no matter what we think, understand or what our flesh says.

As I'm writing this the Holy Spirit is reminding me that there are some areas in my life where it is easy for me to listen, recognise and obey. 

In that story about last night, even though I was tired, I am a task focused person who likes to be organised so it wasn't too much of a stretch to obey. However, when it comes to food, that is a different story - my flesh wins way too many times. That is definitely one of the thorns in my side. We are all a work in progress.

So let's ask God today to help us listen more, quickly recognise His voice and obey Him, because our obedience could help lead to breakthrough in our life, or the lives of others.

A portion of Psalm 86 ....

You are the one and only God.

What miracles! What wonders! What greatness belongs to you!

Teach me more about you, how you work and how you move, so that I can walk onward in your truth until everything within me brings honour to your name.

With all my heart and passion I will thank you, my God!

I will give glory to your name, always and forever!

Psalm 86:10-12 TPT

 

Podcast 28 - Building Relationships - The Cost

Building relationships - the cost

Building a quality relationship takes time, purposeful actions, truth, revelation, mercy and grace. As I review the final layout of my book it is becoming more and more evident to me how God has been doing that in my life over the past eight years. Especially in the first three years from when Victoria was diagnosed, which is the focus of the book.

At one stage in the book editing process I identified 'feature sentences'. These are sentences that were to be highlighted on every few pages. We have since parked that idea, however yesterday as I was checking other formatting I wondered what it would look like if all the feature sentences were pulled out into a list. What journey would they show? Let's have a look ....

January 2011 - Diagnosis

Victoria had virtually no control over her left foot.

He told me to take Victoria to hospital straight away.

"The CT scan showed there is a mass in your child's brain"

"This is a very unusual tumour, in a very unusual place"

We did not know what our future would hold past next Thursday

I made some signs saying, 'This is a big trust God time.'

All I could think was, 'Will she be able to do this after the operation?'

How do you tell a five year old and a seven year old that their sister may not come home again?

But that is the sad reality of having a seriously ill child with siblings. As a parent you have to make choices with your time.

Fear was starting to set in. What was going on in her brain?

February 2011

Nothing spectacular about this day, other than our daughter was living and breathing. 

Victoria is now including her left hand more often in play rather than ignoring it completely.

March 2011

I needed to give myself permission to grieve for the plans and dreams I had for Victoria.

April 2011

So now we have a chart on the fridge, an idea of the psychologist, called 'Let people help.'

August 2011

Once again we praise God for His healing power

I still cry when I watch her swimming.

February 2012

We were not expecting this news. It is a shock.

June 2012

I am so grateful for the wonderful support network who responded to my request for help.

The scan indicates that the tumour has grown by approximately 40%.

July 2012 - Chemotherapy starts

As the nurse explained, if the first port access is traumatic for the child, then subsequent accessing, in our case initially for three months, maybe twelve months, continues to be traumatic.

August 2012

This journey may not be a short one.

Of course during this time there have been some moments of joy.

October 2012

The tumour has reduced in size since commencing the chemotherapy

November 2012

I felt so loved by God, and so reassured of His love and provision for Victoria.

December 2012

While in hospital I had plenty of time to think about the impact of these hospital visits on our family

One of the biggest blessings of 2012 is that every member of our family has finished the year in a much better state emotionally that when the year started.

January 2013

"Some of the mums do blogs to keep people updated"

During the past couple of weeks Victoria has started to ask questions.

I can't express the disappointment that was in my heart.

February 2013

It is God whom we choose to put our faith in.

It was equally good to have some laughs as a family.

As for the tears, there was only one moment in the day when I felt the tears well up, while talking to one of the beautiful caring school mums.

March 2013

I don't want our children to fear death.

April 2013

I fully believe that God can help me get to the point where I can live each day like that, and no longer live 'from scan to scan.'

One big concept I am only starting to get a handle on is that God really does have it all under control.

June 2013

I spent the first half hour of the session crying as I watched Victoria do her best in the running relay races.

God has definitely been our rock during this journey, and He will continue to be.

July 2013

Victoria's wish is to go to the snow and throw snowballs at everyone.

I felt that God was telling me that He already knows the outcome with Victoria's health, and I am to rest in that truth.

August 2013

We will be leaving Mt Buller with so many wonderful family memories, and knowing that despite our circumstances, God is always in the midst.

One place we receive a lot of support from is the local church that we belong to.

September 2013

It is amazing the difference it has made to us all not having had Victoria in hospital for over three weeks.

October 2013 - Chemotherapy stops

The doctor nonchalantly said, 'This will be the last treatment today, and we will reassess after the scan.' I just sat there a bit stunned, that was not the plan last week.

I grieve for Victoria, she has been amazing throughout this time, but her childhood is not as it should have been.

As I have said many, many times before, Jesus is the Rock I stand on.

And that is where the book ends, three years of pain, fear, grief and disappointment, interwined with God gradually drawing us closer and closer to Him. With a growing understanding of how to be content and grateful no matter what is happening in our lives, looking unto Jesus.

It's clear to me that there was a pivotal time in early 2013, when after two years of journeying through pain, I really start to see and believe in that God is bigger than our circumstance! 

I believe that one of the catalysts for that change was an altar call I responded to in early 2013. At that time Victoria had completed six months of weekly chemo and I was starting to struggle emotionally, where was God? how much longer was this to go on for? 

We had a visiting preacher at church. After preaching he invited people to come forward for prayer. I went forward. He said to me something like, "God says, You can trust me."  And that was it. But God knew that was all I needed to hear. That was what I needed to know. I could trust God.

From that point, I can see that my focus started to gradually shift to be more on God and less on our circumstances. It was a gradual change, starting with moments in the day, which over the years grew to be minutes, eventually days, weeks and now months. 

Saying that there are still moments of grief and pain, such as the other day at school when Victoria shared her testimony with the Secondary School - so young and so much to share about God's faithfulness, but it has come at a cost. 

So it's necessary for him to increase and for me to be diminished. John 3:30 TPT

That is certainly what has happened on this journey, there has been an increasing of Christ in my life in every conceivable way.

He must increase, but I must decrease. [He must grow more prominent; I must grow less so.] John 3:30 AMPC

A stronger relationship has been built, where I have greater revelation that I am really nothing without Christ. Jesus. So intimately interested in each of us. Wanting us to surrender completely to His love and His ways. The cost we pay is nothing compared to what He has done for us.

For this is how much God loved the world - he gave his one and only, unique Son as a gift. So now everyone who believes in him will never perish but experience everlasting life. John 3:16 TPT

Podcast 27 - Understand the spiritual significance of now

Understand the spiritual significance of now

Jesus then said to the crowds gathered around him, "When you see a cloud forming in the west, don't you say, "A storm is brewing"? And then it arrives. And when you feel the south wind blowing, you say, "A heat wave is on the way." And so it happens. What hypocrites! You are such experts at forecasting the weather, but you are unwilling to understand the spiritual significance of the time you're living in." Luke 12:54-56 TPT

What happens to you when you read this scripture? For me there is a prompting, 'Look up, look around, see what is really going on. Don't choose not to look.' I am convicted.

Everyone knows that our world is changing. I was reminded again this week that not all change is good. Not all new things are positive. Here is a simple example...

As a child I remember having Sunday dinner at my Grandparents home, and watching the series 'Anne of Green Gables'. How we loved to see what trouble Anne was unintentionally going to get into each week, and of course to see if there was going to be any movement forward in the relationship between Anne and Gilbert. It was a fun, clean TV show.

Recently another television version of this classic story has been created. I found this 'modern' version to be a bit different to the original version. It has beautiful cinematography, but it also includes scenes of abuse that Anne had experienced prior to living with Marilla and Matthew, the scheming and betrayal of travellers to the town of Avonlea, and a child's discovery of their sexual orientation. Gone is the innocence of the original Anne of Green Gables TV show.

I shouldn't have been surprised, I've seen plenty of the TV/You Tube/Gaming output that is around today, but I was disappointed. I know these additions to the TV Show are many people's experiences of life, and I don't mean to ignore that truth, but did this beautiful classic innocent childhood story need to be infused with them? 

Is this a reflection of the world we are living in? This continual need to bring the dark side forth? Apparently so, as we are told in 2 Timothy 3:1-5...

But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!  2 Timothy 3:1-5 NKJV

Okay, so after reading that perhaps you aren't you feeling so positive about life and the future? How do we live in the world but not of the world? How do we keep our eyes on Jesus despite what is happening around us?

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJV

We have to continually choose to believe God's word is true, that we do have the victory through Jesus Christ.

"O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?"
The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:55-57 NKJV

We need to declare victory with our mouths, particularly over this next generation, who live in a world of less and less innocence. They need to hear about Jesus and His love for them. They need to experience expressions of God's love - kindness, grace and mercy - through us. God wants them to know that in Jesus Christ, they have the victory too...

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37 NKJV

So let's not shy away from what we see happening around us every day, being comfortable in our worlds, but rather let's be willing to understand the spiritual significance of the times that we live in, continually asking God what part He wants us to play in this world. Remembering that Jesus has the victory always and forever. Amen!