God is my bedrock under my feet,
the castle in which I live,
my rescuing knight,
My God - the high crag
where I run for dear life,
hiding behind the boulders,
safe in the granite hideout.
I sing to GOD, the Praise-Lofty,
and find myself safe and saved.
Psalm 18:1-3 MSG
We have a God who wants to rescue us. He wants to rescue us from things we don't even know that we will need rescuing from. Today I want to share an excerpt from a book, One thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp. I read this book earlier this year, and there have been some key thoughts that have stayed with me, including this passage.
Voskamp is recounting a conversation with her brother-in-law about the passing of their two your sons at a very young age, both with the same terminal diagnosis.
"And in this scratchy half whisper, these ragged words choke - wail. "If it were up to me ..." and then the words pound, desperate and hard, "I'd write this story differently." I regret the words as soon as they leave me. They seem so un-Christian, so unaccepting - so No, God! I wish I could take them back, comb out their untangled madness, dress them in their calm Sunday best. But there they are, released and naked, raw and real, stripped of any theological cliche, my exposed, serrated howl to the throne room.
"You know..." John's voice breaks into my memory and his gaze lingers, then turns again toward the waving wheat field. "Well, even with our boys ... I don't know why that all happened." He shrugs again. "But do I have to?... Who knows? I don't mention it often, but sometimes I think of that story in the Old Testament. Can't remember what book, but you know - when God gave King Hezekiah fifteen more years of life? Because he prayed for it? But if Hezekiah had died when God first intended, Manasseh would never have been born. And what does the Bible say about Manasseh? Something to the effect that Manasseh had led the Israelites to do even more evil that all the heathen nations around Israel. Think of all the evil that would have been avoided if Hezekiah had died earlier, before Manasseh was born. I am not saying anything, either way, about anything."
He's watching that sea of green rolling in winds. Then it comes slow, in a low, quiet voice that I have to strain to hear.
"Just that maybe... maybe you don't want to change the story, because you don't know what a different ending holds."
The words I choked out that dying, ending day, echo. Pierce. There's a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means. I don't. (Page 20,21)
This passage has 'stuck with me' because it reminded me that God always knows best. When we don't understand a situation, and want answers, we have to get to a place where we can trust God. We have to be able to live abundantly without the answers.
We need to understand that how and when God rescues us may not be how we thought he would. We need to know in our heart that His rescue plan is always the best plan. We need to get to that place in our hearts and minds where we can trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times.
He only is my Rock and my salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved. With God rests my salvation and my glory; He is my Rock of unyielding strength and impenetrable hardness, and my refuge is in God! Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is refuge for us (a fortress and a high tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! Psalm 62:6-8 AMP
When things haven't gone the way you expected them to, it can be very difficult to trust God and believe that He has the best plan. I know this from my own experience. Why did the brain tumor grow back in Victoria? Why didn't it shrivel up and die as we had so often prayed for? These are questions I asked God for a few days when we first received the news of the re-growth. I knew I couldn't go on asking these questions as it was tearing me up emotionally. I did have to accept the circumstance and make a decision to either move forward with God, or stay in an abyss of self-pity and go down that destructive path. I chose to move forward with God, to make him my refuge and my Rock. I chose to trust in Him, despite the circumstances. It has been a long journey, but I know I made the right choice, sticking with God, trusting that He is my rescuing knight, and our daughter's rescuing knight.
Question for today, is there a circumstance in your life that you want answers for, but know you probably won't get them? Are you at a place where you can live your life abundantly despite not knowing the answers? If not, ask God to help you to trust Him more, and bring you to a place where you can declare
I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust! Psalm 91:2 AMP
Keep asking Him to show you how to confidently trust Him, in every day, don't give up on Him. He wants to be your rescuing knight too.
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